Upon rewatching 5.3, I'm wondering what others think about Ruth deciding she couldn't have a relationship with Harry. Do you think she had valid reasons for doing so?

(29-08-2010 12:14 PM)Silktie Wrote:  Upon rewatching 5.3, I'm wondering what others think about Ruth deciding she couldn't have a relationship with Harry. Do you think she had valid reasons for doing so?

I can understand to some degree, why she did what she did. It is never nice to be "the one the boss is shagging" as you ARE talked about. But in saying that, those people/colleagues you care about the most and whose opinions you respect, will understand that the nature of the relationship is more meaningful than that. Why would you really care what colleagues, who mean little to you, say about you round the water cooler?

In saying that though, you do have to have a thick skin, to carry that off and unfortunately, Ruth does not have a thick skin. I think her thick skin only developed after she left. But it was not there beforehand. Perhaps she WAS a little naive to think that no one would ever find out about her and Harry. Of course they were. So why accept the dinner date in the first place then?

(29-08-2010 12:36 PM)Tea Lady Wrote:  

(29-08-2010 12:14 PM)Silktie Wrote:  Upon rewatching 5.3, I'm wondering what others think about Ruth deciding she couldn't have a relationship with Harry. Do you think she had valid reasons for doing so?

I can understand to some degree, why she did what she did. It is never nice to be "the one the boss is shagging" as you ARE talked about.

In saying that though, you do have to have a thick skin, to carry that off and unfortunately, Ruth does not have a thick skin.

I can understand her reasons. One of the on-going themes is the balance of ones personal and professional life. She defines herself so strongly by her job that anything that diffuses her definition of herself would be very difficult to accept. I think it is nearly impossible for her to separate her personal with her private life. Most of us can put the job away at the end of the day. That is not possible for her. She doesn't compartmentalize that way.

My question to all of you is: The initial reason she gives for cutting it off is that any relationship and subsequent gossip/teasing would undermine Harry's authority. Do you think that this is just an excuse or do you think she really means it?

Oh, and I think she accepted dinner in the first place because she couldn't resist. (I know I couldn't!) The feelings are there and she tends to follow them. She may have been taken a bit off guard in the asking too. She also didn't find out about the gossip until Malcolm brought it up after the date. I agree, a bit naive but only on the personal level, not on the professional.

(29-08-2010 01:03 PM)A Cousin Wrote:  My question to all of you is: The initial reason she gives for cutting it off is that any relationship and subsequent gossip/teasing would undermine Harry's authority. Do you think that this is just an excuse or do you think she really means it?

I don't believe the excuse she gave. I believe the problem (if I can call it that) lies with her and not Harry. Harry is too well respected by now, to have something like that undermine his authority. Harry would surely have thought through all the consequences, of him seening Ruth and accepted them. Ruth is worried about where their relationship is heading and makes a dash for the nearest exit. Unfortunately she does not give Harry a chance to show her, that it can work between them.

(29-08-2010 01:03 PM)A Cousin Wrote:  My question to all of you is: The initial reason she gives for cutting it off is that any relationship and subsequent gossip/teasing would undermine Harry's authority. Do you think that this is just an excuse or do you think she really means it?

In my mind the problem is that before she went away she tended to put Harry on a pedestal a little bit, and she is as much in love with the idea of what he is and represents as she is with the real man. I think she said that because the part of her that loves the idea of what he is, believes it is a valid reason. But when he doesn't fall for it, she gives the real reason, i.e. she can't cope with being the main topic of gossip.

(30-08-2010 05:59 AM)Silktie Wrote:  In my mind the problem is that before she went away she tended to put Harry on a pedestal a little bit, and she is as much in love with the idea of what he is and represents as she is with the real man. I think she said that because the part of her that loves the idea of what he is, believes it is a valid reason. But when he doesn't fall for it, she gives the real reason, i.e. she can't cope with being the main topic of gossip.

Oh, wow! About two millions synapses just exploded in my brain with this connection. This would also explain her excruciating discomfort during the dinner when he is doing nothing but being a regular guy.

But I thought she just wanted a regular guy? Hence falling for George so quickly.

Where Ruth is concerned perhaps she is worried about the gossip, but when she was after John Fortescue, the amount of people who knew about that (Sam and Malcolm) and she didn't appear to be all that worried by them knowing.

Perhaps her saying that is the writers attempting to give them that little bit of happiness and then making it awkward for her departure.

They are just making us wait & wait & hope for her & Harry to get together

So what do people think about their chances for series 9? I personally think that there will be some big progress. After bringing Ruth back and filming all of those extra scenes for series 8. There must have been a reason for that; perhaps it being that they would have to bring their relationship to a certain level before the end of series 8 so that if they miraculously were together in series 9 then it wouldn't seem odd to the viewers.

Also, anyone want to hazard a guess in which episode something will happen between them (if indeed it ever does!)