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The Gruinard Project Chapter 30 - khandy - 03-12-2010 11:29 AM
Chapter Thirty.
Thames House London 10.30hrs
Kate was so focused on Lucas and his suffering that she was not aware of the door to the observation room being opened. Ruth paused for a moment unsure of what to say. Kate and Lucas were strangers to her; any words of comfort that she offered might well seem contrived and superficial. She sighed, love, why didn’t they tell you it could be so painful and make you so bloody miserable?
She cleared her throat before she touched Kate’s arm not wanting to startle her too much.
“Being in love isn’t supposed to be shit is it?” she said quietly.
Kate lifted her head away from the glass and looked at Ruth.
“No it’s not.”
“I guess if we could choose who we fall in love with maybe it wouldn’t be, but I am not sure we really get a choice.”
“Don’t we?”
“I don’t think so; otherwise women wouldn’t fall for men who are either complete bastards that treat them like dirt or have more baggage than the lost property room at Heathrow airport. We would all be in love with a Mills and Boon hero; you know the type who never let you down and are totally infallible.”
Kate smiled weakly.
“Yeah I guess you have a point. I certainly never planned to fall in love with a spy.”
“No but you are not the first and you won’t be the last to make that mistake.”
Kate looked at Ruth, something in the way she spoke made her suspect that Ruth spoke from experience.
“I hate to do this Kate, but if Harry finds you in here Ros and I will be toast.”
“You already are both toast.” Harry spoke from the doorway. “I specifically said that she was to have no contact with Lucas.”
“No actually Harry you said she was not to speak to Lucas and she hasn’t.” Ruth turned.
“Don’t nit pick Ruth you know what I meant. She doesn’t need to be distracted by this and I don’t want her to be in danger.”
“What danger? Harry she’s the other side of a two way mirror.”
“Yes and now she has seen how screwed up Lucas is. The one thing I wanted to avoid. I don‘t need her to collapse as well.”
“Harry not everybody…”
“For God’s sake shut up both of you. Jesus! I am actually here. She this, she that. I’m not a child! Two things Harry. Firstly don’t presume that you can tell me what to do, you do not employ me. If I want to see Lucas I will. Secondly I am not about to fall apart; if you had bothered to speak to me you would know that.” Kate had never been so angry.
Harry looked at her.
“Have you finished?”
“No I bloody well haven’t. For your information Harry I am not some poor little woman that you have to hide things from. I am probably more aware than anybody just how screwed up Lucas is. I have been with him when he has woken unable to breathe because he remembered those bastards were torturing him. I have paced his home waiting for him to return after he left in the middle of the night as if he were being chased by the hounds from hell. I’m the one who has watched him scrub his skin until it bleeds because he feels so dirty. And in case you don’t remember I’m the one whose throat he grabbed. So guess what Harry I know how messed, up he is you do not have to hide it from me.”
“That’s right Kate he attacked you! So surely you must realise I cannot allow you to be in danger. ”
“Harry I am not an idiot.”
“Then stop acting like one. Think with your brains not your hormones.”
“That comment is beneath you Harry.” Ruth looked at him disappointed.
“Yeah Ruth it is,” Kate agreed. “Hear this Harry and then judge if I am using my brain. If the psychiatrist thinks that it is appropriate then I would like to speak to Lucas. From what he said, believing me to be in here,” Kate glanced around the room, “he needs to know that I have not abandoned him. If the psychiatrist says that he thinks that my being with Lucas places either him or me in danger then I will accept that judgement but you must allow me to send him a message. When that is done I will return to Brighton and get to work on finding a vaccine. Despite what you think I am very aware of the threat the bacteria poses. Then if I am allowed to I will visit Lucas tonight. Do you have any problems with what I am proposing Harry?”
Harry was seldom speechless but Kate had rendered him so today.
“I’ll take your silence as agreement and will wait on The Grid while you speak with the psychiatrist.” She turned to look at Lucas, who had returned to sit in the chair, before leaving the room.
Ruth stood observing Harry and smiled.
“I see nothing changes, you still have no idea how to handle women.”
****************
Lucas moved slowly back to the chair, his head still pounding. Total fatigue and exhaustion were creeping over him. The physical effort he was exerting to control the millions of images that were hurtling through his head, could not be maintained. He knew he was not far from a total physical collapse and at all costs he had to avoid that. If he didn’t he could kiss goodbye to his MI5 career. Sleep, he longed to close his eyes and fall into a deep dreamless sleep. A sleep not plagued with nightmares where he was woken by dawn’s new light rested and refreshed.
How long had it been since he had slept soundly? In more than nine years he could only remember one occasion when he had slept undisturbed throughout the night; that was the night following Helen’s party when he had snuck into Kate’s room. He had slept then, cocooned in her warmth. Kate, all his thoughts seemed to lead to her; her presence so integral to all that had happened over the last nine years. He trembled at the thought that he had destroyed her love. What if he never saw her again? How would he survive without seeing her serious brown eyes, or hearing her laughter or smelling her strawberry scented skin when she left the bathroom?
A frown creased his brow as he thought of her skin and the marks he had left there. How had he not known it was Kate? He would lay down his life before he willingly hurt her. God what a mess it was, only her presence of mind to use the deodorant had stopped the attack from getting worse. He doubted that they would let her see him even if she wanted to.
He heard the door unlock but did not open his eyes, certain that it was Harry and the psychiatrist returning from the short break they had taken. He lay unmoving waiting for them to speak. His mind seemed to be playing tricks on him as he could smell a subtle strawberry fragrance not unlike Kate’s shower gel.
“Lucas are you asleep?”
Although the words were spoken softly, so as not to alarm him, he still jumped at the sound.
“Kate?” he whispered, not daring to believe that she was actually there.
“Yeah it’s me.”
His eyes opened slowly and then simply stared, drinking in the sight of her, eventually resting on the bruising at her throat. Shame swept over him.
“Kate I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” his voice broke.
She touched his lips.
“Shush I know you didn’t you big ninny.”
“They tried to rape me, infect me with Aids. I thought you were the guard who helped them.”
Tears filled her eyes. Harry had explained what lay behind Lucas attacking her, but hearing about it from Lucas himself was heartbreaking.
“Lucas its ok I understand and they can’t hurt you anymore.”
He reached up and gently captured her hand bringing it to his lips pressing hot kisses on the back of it. Then releasing it worried that his touch might scare her. Realising what he was thinking Kate took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently.
“It’s ok to touch me Lucas. In fact I think I should probably tell you that it’s compulsory to touch me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank you,” he whispered fighting back tears.
“If how you look is a reflection of how you feel, you must feel like shit but from what Matthew here tells me,” Lucas’ eyes followed Kate’s glance as he realised they were not alone, “you have hit rock bottom. The only way is up now Lucas and we will make that journey together, Ok?” She reached over and smoothed his hair back from his forehead. “I have to go back to Brighton for a while to do some work this afternoon but when I’ve finished I am coming back to be with you.”
If he hadn’t felt so terrible Lucas would have smiled at the irony of the situation. Him who had always put MI5 first before his personal life now had to take a back seat while MI5 claimed Kate first. He couldn’t smile about it though he was still too scared that she wouldn’t return.
He swallowed hard before speaking.
“Promise me? I need you so much.” Lucas realised he was practically begging but that couldn’t be helped as he had to be certain she would come back.
“I promise. Now besides me Lucas can you tell us what else you want?”
“Sleep I want to sleep. My head feels like it’s going to explode; the images and sounds, I can’t control them much longer.”
“Will you let them give you a sedative Lucas?”
“Would I have to go into hospital? I don’t want to go into hospital. Not with all those people.” His voice shook as he thought of having to face umpteen strangers.
“We thought you could go home Lucas and we would get a nurse from an agency to stay at the flat with you. Would you agree to that?” Matthew spoke for the first time.
“Will you stay with me tonight, as well as the nurse?” Lucas asked Kate.
“You know North when you are feeling better I’m going to tease you about inviting me to a threesome.” She touched his cheek. “I promised I would come back and I will.”
Lucas smiled weakly.
“I don’t think I have the energy for a threesome.”
“Is there anything else you want before I go?” Kate asked.
“Yeah ask Harry to contact Marcus. I need to see him. When we were kids he helped me so many times with my memory just by being my brother and I need him to explain to Mum and Dad. He’ll know the best way to tell them about this.”
Kate sighed, emotionally drained.
“I’ll get Harry to contact him.” She stood up to go bending over before she did to brush a soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll see you this evening.”
US Military Base. Nr Brighton 13.00hrs
Ruth had introduced her to the security staff explaining to them that she was involved in a research project between the USAA and the Health Protection Agency looking at a potential new anthrax vaccine that did not have any of the suspected side effects of the one currently in use.
“This is my extension number Kate, anything you need let me know ok?”
“Thanks Ruth. By the way will you let me know when L…”
The older woman smiled as she interrupted.
“Harry says he will tell me when Lucas is home, I’ll let you know when he does. Lucas is lucky to have you.”
“We’re lucky to have each other.”
Ruth watched as she disappeared into the office adjoining the lab. That’s the difference, she thought between you and me Kate, you and Lucas have each other. I never really had Harry. Sighing she headed back to her own office.
Kate sat at the computer. She would have loved to log on to the Health Protection Agencies research site but if she did that she would have to let them know what she was doing and this op was still softly, softly. Ruth had been surprised that she did not want to check the samples she had brought with her straight away, but as Kate explained the samples were not going anywhere. Before she looked at them she wanted to refresh her memory about regular anthrax so that she could see how this new and more virulent strain differed.
She spent a couple of hours studying and making notes. Initially it wasn’t easy as her mind kept wandering to Lucas. Relief had washed over her when Ruth told her that Harry had rung to say Lucas was settled in his flat and that a nurse and agent were with him and he was resting. Once she knew he was home she had been able to work more freely.
Later that afternoon Kate had left the office and headed into the laboratory. Being a Saturday the place was pretty quiet and she found that she could work undisturbed.
Kate adjusted the microscope lens and brought the slide into focus. The image that she was viewing caused her to gasp and swear under her breath. The multiplication rate of these bacteria was far quicker than would be anticipated for anthrax bacteria. The question was how much quicker? Dr Ross had documented that the Polish workers infected with the disease had all died within five hours of being contaminated. What she needed was to compare the rate of multiplication of this strain of the bacteria with a non-modified strain of anthrax. She returned to look at the bacteria under the microscope making detail notes of how the spores differed from non-modified anthrax.
Glancing at the clock she realised it was gone five. There were things she needed to discuss with Ruth before she left so she cleared away what she was working on decontaminating the area and correctly storing the samples before she changed out of the PPE she was wearing and headed for the shower.
Ruth was in her office. She smiled when Kate’s head appeared round her door.
“Made any headway at all?”
“Yes and no. The speed at which this bacterium appears to multiply is quite terrifying. What I need is for some ordinary anthrax samples so I can compare the rate of multiplication. I also would like some of the current vaccine that the military are using. I need to check if it is any good against this strain. At the moment I am working on the assumption it isn’t I would like some proof. Also I want to see what effect Ciprofloxacin has on the disease process. Can you organise that for me tomorrow?”
“Ok I will speak to Harry and he can organise it. You ready to head home? You look shattered.”
“Yeah, well it’s been one of those days.”
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