[spoilers] Harry and Ruth. The Wonder Years.

[Beatriz]

I also agree with almh, here. I admit feeling a bit guilty about voting for the second option, but it's what I really feel. This doesn't mean that I don't want Ruth to solve her issues, reconcile with herself and end up being with Harry. I think (and it has been mention before) that she doesn't blame Harry anymore, but she blames herself, sometimes we are our worst enemies.

Harry thinks that her refusal has to do with him (ok, "after the choices you've..." doesn't help) and to a certain extent, it is true, because the things they've been through, but not because she thinks he's not a good person. (Hope this makes sense).

IMO, this was better for them both, as almh says, if Ruth had accepted Harry's proposal she wouldn't have been honest neither with him nor with herself.

I do want them together, but I want them fully together, with no regrets...

[almh]

Seconded Beatriz!!! No regrets... Mind you, in my pessimistic view, knowing them, I don't think that they'll ever not have regrets. I just hope that the number of regrets minimises to a normal level

In response to TL I don't tell my dad when he's annoying me, and I don't think he's a mind-reader either (at least, not as far as I'm aware). It can get really uncomfortable when you talk to other people about how you feel about them, even if they're good friends, because you're worried that you're not going to make sense to them, that they won't understand why you think what you do, and also because if you don't mention the issue you hope it goes away. Plus I never say what I mean to my friends because I don't want to hurt them unnecessarily. If I was Ruth I would be in full scale panic mode when Harry proposed, and later I doubt I'd have the confidence to really explain why.

[Beatriz]

Yeah, I know what you mean, but keep them to a minimum!!!

This got me thinking, I believe Ruth is too concentrated in her thoughts and feelings that doesn't see Harry's, if only Ruth realised that Harry loves her and he would accept her with her issues... *sighs*

[yorkshiretyke]

I understand what you are saying almh...here's the but, Ruth is fourty tears old, intelligent and articulate, she spends her days explaining what she has discovered and what she thinks...sometimes you have to force yourself to try, in my experience it is always worth the risk!

[Tea Lady]

(10-10-2010 09:22 AM)almh Wrote:  In response to TL I don't tell my dad when he's annoying me, and I don't think he's a mind-reader either (at least, not as far as I'm aware). It can get really uncomfortable when you talk to other people about how you feel about them, even if they're good friends, because you're worried that you're not going to make sense to them, that they won't understand why you think what you do, and also because if you don't mention the issue you hope it goes away. Plus I never say what I mean to my friends because I don't want to hurt them unnecessarily. If I was Ruth I would be in full scale panic mode when Harry proposed, and later I doubt I'd have the confidence to really explain why.

Ha ha, I'm not sure why I wrote, what I wrote now. I never tell people what I'm really thinking or feeling. Good grief...I am RUTH !!

[yorkshiretyke]

We can all be Ruth, Tea Lady but if we want something, and I am assuming Ruth wants Harry, we have to try...

[Beatriz]

HAHAHAHAHA now you want to change what you've voted!!! LOL It's very difficult to tell people what you really think, and it's very easy to see a relationship from the outside, as audience. (And now it's when I must remember myself HR aren't real )

[almh]

(10-10-2010 09:54 AM)Tea Lady Wrote:  Ha ha, I'm not sure why I wrote, what I wrote now. I never tell people what I'm really thinking or feeling. Good grief...I am RUTH !!

LOL!

Yorkshiretyke - it's different talking about work though compared to talking about relationships though. And I know that it can be worth the risk, but sometimes people can not feel confident enough to take the first step, despite the fact that they know they'll be better off in the long run.

[yorkshiretyke]

Beatriz.....what do you mean HR aren't real!!

[Tea Lady]

(10-10-2010 10:05 AM)yorkshiretyke Wrote:  Beatriz.....what do you mean HR aren't real!!

LOL !!

It would be interesting to know who made the first move in the Ruth/George relationship and what was the real reason they never got married (although that explanation always confused me as I never called someone I was not married to, my husband??)

Now, I really must put H/R down for an hour and go to the gym.