[spoilers] Ruth

[A Cousin]

(21-09-2010 11:03 PM)lwhite53 Wrote:  I don't really get this at all. How is Harry being dishonest by asking Ruth to marry him? Why does Ruth assume that being married equates to conventionality (living in a cottage somewhere)? Is she saying that any relationship borne of love is now out of the question? I'm more inclined to believe that she's the one being dishonest -- she's basically denying everything that's happened over the past 8 years.

I'm glad you got to see it and are joining the conversation. You always really get me thinking and force me to verbalize my opinions.

I didn't say that Harry was anything but 100% sincere in his intentions towards Ruth by asking her to marry him. In a bucolic meadow. At Ros' funeral. Just that the impetus to do so in the moment he asked her for the wrong reasons: because at that moment he didn't want to die alone and he wants to give the life up for something simple and elegant, if I may be so bold. I think that Ruth was quite right to refuse him in that moment.

I'm gonna channel Meryl Streep for a moment and deconstruct what I think is one of the best monologues to come through Spooks and, I will add, brilliantly executed by NW. Here 'tis just because its fabulous!

I've been thinking about why I said...um...to you know....because it would be a lie, Harry. Can I you even picture it? Us in a little house in Sussex? What would we do? What would we talk about when the neighbors came round? I think we've forfeited the chance for that kind of life, Harry, you and me. The things we've seen together. The things we've done. And here we can face all that in the open. There, we'd have to hide it away. We couldn't be more together than we are right now.

What she is saying is that if he retires to look for the peace he clearly seems to need, and with her, it will be a lie. She talks about the house in Sussex as part of that retirement package. In that scenario, they would have to live a lie by not talking about all the horrible things they have seen and all the horrible things they (but particularly Harry) have done. They would have to hide it from all they came in contact with. She is saying that they are better off loving each other in a place where they can be completely honest about the decisions they have to make on a daily basis. The only thing missing from their relationship is sex and cohabitation. I think their connection is deeper and more profound than that.

I do not see this as a rejection of Harry or a denying of whatever the odd "thing" is that they have had over the last 8 years. I see it as a blunt and honest affirmation and acceptance of the kind of life their jobs force them into and a statement of her love for him as it exists for them in the reality they have chosen. I think that she has finally taken him off the pedestal, seen him for what he is, accepts it and wants it to stay truthful.

And if this diatribe does not make my interpretation of Ruth's, to me, understandable POV, then I guess we will have to agree to disagree. Lord knows we have done it before!