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**bertowud** · (This post was last modified: 29-12-2009 02:34 PM by Nitrus.)

If your boyfriend (or girlfriend) that you'd been sleeping with for a while told you "By the way, My name's not Matthew it's Tom" like Tom did with Ellie, how would you react?

Personally, I don't think we'd be together any more.

**Nitrus** · 18-08-2009, 11:55 AM

I would leave...

If I needed to be vetted before telling me, then don't let it go too far or get too serious...

I lol'd when Harry said that he didn't tell his wife what he did until their wedding day. lol.

**bertowud** · 18-08-2009, 11:59 AM

(18-08-2009 11:55 AM)Nitrus Wrote: I would leave...

If I needed to be vetted before telling me, then don't let it go too far or get too serious...

I lol'd when Harry said that he didn't tell his wife what he did until their wedding day. lol.

I guess for me it's not so much the job. Although, based on that fact alone, it's no surprising he's divorced. It's the whole name thing. I know our names are just our names, but it's also an identity thing. Plus wouldn't it be more awkward after having been introduced to everyone as Matthew to come back and say, "Sorry, I'm really Tom"? I mean, if you didn't know better you'd think this person was a con artist or something.

femaleBertieWooster · 06-12-2009, 07:12 PM

It wouldn't be the name that was the problem but the fact that they were both too busy to have a life. She was a restauranteur so was probably working longer hours than Tom.

Add to that the fact that he could get killed at any time. I would tend to shy away from something like that.

While we're on the subject, once someone gets the word and continues with the relationship, I can see some disappointment when a call comes in to destroy nice plans for a day but not the whole nine yards. She should have given his job more respect than she did. I thought she was way too whiny anyhow and could not see his attraction to her.

It must be hard for a spook to get a life, aka "It's hard out there for a Spook."

almh · 06-12-2009, 08:00 PM

I would have been a put irritated I think (then again, no one has ever done that to me so I don't really know how I'd react.) Actually, angry is a better word, angry that I hadn't been trusted. Then I think I would accept it. I actually don't think being vetted is that bad. All that would come up on my record is that I spend too much time on a forum about a tv show about spies Tongue

so it doesn't really bother me.

**JHyde** · 06-12-2009, 08:09 PM

I must admit I always thought it was pretty shoddy of Harry not to tell his wife until she was his wife.

Spoiler: show

As to what I'd do? Surprisingly, I think I'd be OK as long as I was told when it got serious. He did let it go on a bit longer than it should have without telling her.

MysteryloverAnne · 31-12-2009, 01:37 PM

I wonder if that is how the real 'spooks' do it....either never tell their significant others or tell them once they are fully committed and it is too late to back out.

**bertowud** · 31-12-2009, 03:31 PM

And then again, you have the way that Harry did it...

YourFutureMuse · 31-12-2009, 03:33 PM

I think waiting is better then telling them straight away though ( like Tom with Vicky) because you have to make sure you trust the person ..

lwhite53 · 31-12-2009, 08:19 PM

I actually have a friend who was in covert intelligence (retired now). Prior to wedding and while in active service, the spouse knew (couldn't get married without spouse being intensively vetted) but none of the rest of the family (including parents) knew the real nature of the job. Very strange way to live one's life!