Man Flu - codename - The Plague

[Lukyan Lyubof]

Man Flu - Codename = The Plague
Random drabble that came to me when re-watching season 7. Takes place after Harry has killed Arkady. Not meant to be taken seriously unless you prefer ill Lucas in which case I think you're mad. Some of you may have read this on FF.net but it has been revamped slightly

Disclaimer: I do not own Spooks; if I did you would know about it, it would be like Coronation Street, always on! Plus every episode would be Lucas based.
NB: The speech in italics is in Russian.

Location: Harry's office
Present: Harry, Ros and Lucas – slight Jo and Malcolm

Ros turned to Lucas, 'Arkady is dead' she said.

'Good', he replied.

'I thought you liked him.'

'Only in the context of my incarceration.'

Harry looked up from his paperwork, 'care to explain Lucas?'

'I know that all along he wanted to use me, to turn me, create his own double agent, but he brought me food, the occasional coffee and what I liked most, conversation. He was always patient with me, understanding, he used to call me 'my boy'. He once visited me every day for two weeks when I was ill.'

'He didn't seem to type to bring ice cream and jelly to your bedside. I wouldn't have thought they'd have cared you were ill.' Ros stated, then paused, 'sorry, I didn't think I...'

'Don't worry, I know what you meant.' Lucas smiled at her. 'You don't go eight years without becoming ill. Coughs, colds etc that you dealt with, but this was different.' And he proceeded to explain.

FLASHBACK
Lucas sat at the table staring at the bowl in front of him. Even the thought of eating made him feel sick yet he knew he should, he hadn't eaten all day. A wave of dizziness passed over him and he knew he was going to be sick. He stood up and stepped over the wooden bench, a guard was yelling at him to sit down but the room was spinning, he fell to his knees, one hand catching his fall, the other clutching his stomach, and retched but not having eaten anything all day nothing came up.
A hand grabbed his arm pulling him up, he saw an angry face, red from shouting, then blackness clouded his mind.

Lucas woke up coughing. He felt terrible. His head was spinning, he felt sick and faint. He lay there trying not move his head, every time he did a band started playing somewhere, out of tune. A stray thought escaped him. I'd rather be interrogated again than this. NO. I didn't mean that, anything is better than that.
In his peripheral vision he could see Arkady walking towards him and he felt his mouth move into the smallest of smiles.

'Lucas, my boy. How are you feeling?' Arkady sat on a chair next to the bed.

'Shit'

'Shit?'

'Shit, it is considered swearing in English.'

'Ah, see you still know things that are interesting, you know I like learning new things.' At this Lucas flinched, Arkady's words had sounded like a veiled threat.

'Lucas, I'm sorry, I meant socially you could teach me things, not anything to do with 5.' Arkady smiled at Lucas. He knew it was only a matter of time before Lucas turned. The man was scared; he himself was the person Lucas came closest to trusting. Not absolute trust, but trust that Arkady would bring conversation, food, would keep him sane.

'You ended up in hospital?' Ros asked incredulously.

'I said hospital wing of the prison, I'd been in there a few times, they would patch me up and send me on my way. When I woke up I expected to be handcuffed to the bed.'

'Why?' Harry queried.

'Well it's an open room, no lock on the door, furthest point from the guard's room. Anytime I left the main area of the prison I had to wear handcuffs. It was the worst I’d ever felt in prison, worse than any of the beatings or when I got septicaemia.’

‘You got septicaemia, Lucas you could have died!’ Harry interjected

‘Right, so I get a couple of tattoos and get septicaemia and that’s worse than being tortured?’ Both Ros and Harry snorted at ‘couple’
‘Back on topic, please, look he was so sympathetic to me, realised that I was truly ill, told me he knew exactly how I felt and he even let me have an extra blanket on my bed so I could snuggle up.’

'Well did you find out what it was? Headache, dizziness, passing out, sickness, it sounds common enough.' Harry asked Lucas.

'Oh it is.' Ros answered him.

'What is it then?'

'A terrible disease, crippling in-fact’

‘So...?’

‘Man flu' Ros said as she picked up her papers and left the office. She caught a glimpse of Harry’s face as she left; it looked like he was trying not to cry as Lucas patted his shoulder comfortingly.

‘Terrible’ Harry managed to croak out

‘Men’ Ros huffed

‘You don’t what it’s like’ they both called defensively after her

Jo who had been walking past at that point felt the urge to join in. It was her time of the month and she needed to rant. ‘Childbirth’ she screamed at them then stormed off crying.

Malcolm raised his eyebrows at the antics of the team before attempting to inconspicuously pop a throat lozenge into his mouth. This caused Ros to hrmpff as she walked past.

Well, he thought to himself, it had been raining this morning, better to be safe than sorry. On that thought he unwrapped another lozenge before heading to the kitchen to prepare a hot honey and lemon drink.

Hope you liked it, and it’s not majorly awfulIf you have any ideas for oneshots or fics that you want writing let me know and I shall try and write something. Also I will finish my Albanian story just lost inspiration atm, sorry

[HellsBells]

Great writing Lukyan Lyubof, really funny. It all started so seriously and then to finish as man flu....brilliant.
I'm glad you write about Lucas, as not many do, and can't wait for you to finish the Albanian story.

[Lukyan Lyubof]

Thanks for reviewing
I know I wish more people wrote about Lucas, and I shall continue my Albanian fic, promise, it just may take a little more time, I have ideas just need time to write it and plot it out fully

[Byatil]

This is pretty hilarious xD Nice job!