[spoilers] Harry and Ruth

[JHyde]

I also think George would have found it very hard to deal with her deception. We onviously discussed this after 8.1, but I was interested to hear if anyone felt differently now that the season is over and we've had time to reflect. Your first point, lwhite53, was what I was trying to express when I said about Ruth being a very loving person.

[Nia M]

lwhite53 Wrote:What would have happened if George had lived and she had to choose between him and Harry?

Ouch. That's a very hard one to answer.
I think whatever happened, she'd end up with Harry though, even if she does initially decide George.

[Tea Lady]

You made some good points there Nia M in your previous post. I think Ruth did love George and yes I believe it probably started as a friendship. Then again that was how she and Harry started really. I never really thought about Ruth feeling guilty about George's death but I guess yes when you think about it, her lies indirectly led to George's death. Ruth was blaming it all on Harry but that was probably her deflecting the guilt away from herself. Harry took all that guilt upon himself though because he still loved Ruth. He would bear that guilt for her if it made Ruth's life easier for her. Ruth did not love George as much as Harry or the same way. You can be in love with different people at varying depths at the same time. Sometimes you just dont end up with the one that you want or feel that you should be with. Ruth would have chosen Harry over George I am sure of it. He was her one true love and the one she always wanted. She was kind of forced into loving George.

After reading some fanfic the other day, it made me think of whether Harry actually did try and find Ruth when she left England. I could imagine him doing so and perhaps failing or leaving her be, once he found she was happy and settled. I guess I still find it hard to believe that he let her walk out of his life and he never went back for her. Maybe he did, maybe that will out in future series.

[Beatriz]

(26-01-2010 10:32 PM)lwhite53 Wrote:  Yes. Ruth loved George, but not enough to marry him, I think. Love is not a mutually exclusive or an either/or emotion, to my mind. Love is expansive and loving more than one person is certainly not an impossibility, especially if love object #1 is not, or no longer, available. I think Ruth needed a loving, caring relationship after she had been forced to leave her old life, and George and Nico offered her that. She had to find a way to move forward and she meshed into their lives well -- they offered a supportive and very safe environment for her. But did she love George in the same all-encompassing, idealized way she loved Harry? I don't believe so.

I couldn't agree more with that, she loved George in a different way she loves Harry.

(26-01-2010 11:00 PM)Tea Lady Wrote:  After reading some fanfic the other day, it made me think of whether Harry actually did try and find Ruth when she left England. I could imagine him doing so and perhaps failing or leaving her be, once he found she was happy and settled. I guess I still find it hard to believe that he let her walk out of his life and he never went back for her. Maybe he did, maybe that will out in future series.

That's something I haven't thought about it... I'd like to think he try to locate her, yes, but once he had discovered it, he will let her live her life. I'm sure he tried at least

[Tea Lady]

I guess I find it more likely that he would try to find her than not find her. He would know how and have the resources available, if he loved her as we have been led to believe he did, at that time. If he did find her and let her be, and then told Ruth now about it, I have a feeling she would not be happy.

[lwhite53]

(26-01-2010 10:40 PM)JHyde Wrote:  I also think George would have found it very hard to deal with her deception.

Agreed. But I wasn't even thinking of what George would have said/done. He actually didn't even figure in to my thinking! LOL. This is Ruth's decision alone -- she has to decide what she wants. This is one of those times when being selfish is required -- what do I want for myself, regardless of what anyone else wants. What is it that will make me happy? That's the only thing that really matters in this situation, imo.

I also think that, after Ruth left, Harry probably did some covert checking up on her. Once he was assured that she was safe, well hidden and out of any immediate danger, he buries that knowledge way in the back of his mind and gets on with his work.

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(26-01-2010 11:22 PM)Tea Lady Wrote:  I guess I find it more likely that he would try to find her than not find her. He would know how and have the resources available, if he loved her as we have been led to believe he did, at that time. If he did find her and let her be, and then told Ruth now about it, I have a feeling she would not be happy.

I'm not sure about this. Trying to contact her could only have put her in danger -- neither of them would have wanted that. And remember, she told him "Let me go, Harry."

[HellsBells]

I agree that Ruth's love for Harry is quite different from her love for George. But if she had to decide between them I think she would have gone with George and Nico (if they had wanted her to), because Ruth is a loyal person and, as much as she feels for Harry, she would not abandon George. Also her feelings for Harry had caused such pain in the past she would prefer the 'safety' of George's love.

[Moonlight]

(27-01-2010 12:21 PM)HellsBells Wrote:  I agree that Ruth's love for Harry is quite different from her love for George. But if she had to decide between them I think she would have gone with George and Nico (if they had wanted her to), because Ruth is a loyal person and, as much as she feels for Harry, she would not abandon George. Also her feelings for Harry had caused such pain in the past she would prefer the 'safety' of George's love.

I would agree with that. She wouldn't abandon her commitments to George and Nico for her more intense love for Harry, however much she would feel torn. She has two sides; one which loves the passion and excitement of her job and Harry, and one which longs for normality (whatever that is).

[Tea Lady]

Yes Ruth longed for normaility I agree. She admitted as much to Harry when she described her job in the hospital. I felt though that she already knew that her life, as it had come to be, with George was over before George was killed. She made a comment to Malcolm on the balcony about leaving fresh fish out on the side, but it didnt matter anymore. I took that comment to mean that she knew that she would never go back to Cyprus. Therefore she would have to start a new life again elsewhere with George and Nico. George and Nico would have resented that surely? Look how they acted in the safe house?

What I am trying to say is that Ruth could never have gone back to her life with George and Nico no matter what happened. Ruth would not have been so selfish to keep George and Nico away from their home. Also George would never love her in the same way again. She would have let them go, and then stay to face the consequences in the UK. Harry would be back in her life one way or another.

[Beatriz]

I partly agree with both of you, HellsBells and Moonlight. Ruth wouldn't have broken her commitment to George and Nico in the first place. But the thing is that George and Nico would have wanted to come back home, but Ruth's coverup was blown so she wouldn't be safe there.
She would like to live a normal and calm life, but deep inside her, methinks, she loves her job.
Harry's love has caused her a lot of pain but that was because she had to leave and she was very insecure about it. But she had evolved in Cyprus, and there would have been no hurdle in their way.
And as it was said before, Harry is Ruth's true love.

*EDIT* I hadn't read Tea Lady's post before starting to write I completely agree with her.